Finding a Kingdom Spouse: Characteristics to Seek and Avoid According to the Bible
In our journey to find a kingdom spouse, it's crucial to understand the characteristics the Bible suggests and the importance of self-reflection. A kingdom spouse is someone who shares your faith and commitment to living a life according to God's will. Here are some key characteristics to seek and avoid, along with the necessary introspection needed for this pursuit.
Characteristics of a Kingdom Spouse
God-Fearing: A kingdom spouse should have a deep reverence for God. Proverbs 31:30 states, "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." This verse highlights that true value lies in one's relationship with God, not just outward appearances.
Loving and Kind: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 beautifully describes the attributes of love: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." A kingdom spouse embodies these qualities.
Faithful and Trustworthy: Proverbs 20:6 reminds us, "Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find?" Faithfulness and trustworthiness are essential traits in a kingdom marriage, reflecting God's faithfulness to us.
Humility and Servanthood: Philippians 2:3-4 encourages, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." A kingdom spouse should exemplify humility and a heart of service.
Shared Vision and Purpose: Amos 3:3 asks, "Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?" It's important that a kingdom spouse shares your vision and purpose in life, walking in agreement towards mutual goals.
Characteristics to Avoid in a Kingdom Spouse
Ungodliness: 2 Corinthians 6:14 warns, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" Avoid a partner who does not share your faith and commitment to God.
Pride and Arrogance: Proverbs 16:18 cautions, "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." A person who is prideful and arrogant can lead to a destructive relationship.
Dishonesty: Proverbs 12:22 says, "The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy." Avoid a partner who is dishonest, as trust is fundamental in a kingdom marriage.
Selfishness: Philippians 2:21 notes, "For everyone looks out for their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ." A selfish person prioritizes their own desires over the well-being of the relationship.
Lack of Self-Control: Proverbs 25:28 states, "Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control." A partner who lacks self-control may struggle with maintaining healthy boundaries and behaviors.
The Importance of Self-Reflection and Healing
Before seeking a kingdom spouse, looking in the mirror and doing the healing work necessary is vital. We often attract who we are, so becoming the best version of ourselves aligns us with the right partner.
Self-Examination: Lamentations 3:40 advises, "Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord." Self-examination helps us identify areas that need growth and alignment with God's will.
Healing Past Wounds: Psalm 147:3 assures us, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Allowing God to heal our past wounds enables us to enter a relationship whole and healthy, free from past baggage.
Growing in Christ-Likeness: 2 Peter 3:18 encourages us to "grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." As we grow in our relationship with Christ, we become more like Him, which attracts a partner who is also striving for Christ-likeness.
A Prayer for Discernment
Heavenly Father, We come before You with grateful hearts, seeking Your wisdom and guidance in our pursuit of a kingdom spouse. Lord, grant us discernment to recognize the qualities You desire in a partner and to avoid those that lead us away from You. Help us to see beyond outward appearances and to value a heart that seeks after You.
Father, we ask for Your healing touch on our hearts. Reveal to us any areas that need Your healing and restoration. Help us to become the person You have called us to be, reflecting Your love and grace in our lives.
Guide our steps, Lord, and protect us from relationships that are not in alignment with Your will. Give us patience to wait for Your perfect timing and trust in Your plan for our lives. May we always seek Your kingdom first, knowing that everything else will be added unto us.
In Jesus' name, we pray.
Amen.
Conclusion
Finding a kingdom spouse requires a balance of seeking the right characteristics in a partner, avoiding detrimental traits, and doing the necessary self-work to become a godly spouse ourselves. By focusing on these biblical principles and trusting in God's guidance, we can enter into a marriage that honors Him and fulfills His purpose for our lives.
